The only day a married woman gets valued and (relatively more) empowered is when she becomes a mother. When all else fails, and as a last resort, some families choose to adopt a male child. When that’s not the case, there is pressure on the woman to produce the third child, in the hope that the third would be a son. That’s where a lot of families (and often economically well-off families) resort to female foeticide (which is illegal but rampant). The biggest fear is what if the second child is also a girl. If both the children are boys, that’s fine as well.
Now, if the first child is a girl and the second is a boy, that’s not an issue. Many Indian families have realized the value of being better able to provide resources to fewer children and ideally like to have no more than two children.
With the family planning and population control campaign of the 1980s and 1990s, the value of having only 2 children (shown in advertisements as boy and a girl) was widely propagated.
Where the older children were girls, the younger ones would be boys (the girls being born while waiting for the son). It was common to see families with many children, and a mix of boys and girls. The birth of a girl was frowned upon, and still is, but foeticide was not as rampant. Earlier, families would keep producing children until sons were born. The scenario here is more dire now than in preceding decades. Summarized below are ways in which gender inequality is manifested in many Indian homes: It assures economic, physical, food and emotional security as one gets older. Thus, living together with the son and his family assures sharing of resources in a country with growing population and limited land. The daughter-in-law is tied to food security. With the societal expectation of a daughter getting married and moving to another house, a son is seen as economic security as one ages. Most Indians don’t plan well for their old age. While many Indians would care about the first issue (where your son carries forth your surname, but your daughter does not), it is the second issue which is of more practical concern. On deeper analysis, one will find that gender inequality is largely linked to two issues: 1) passing on of surname and lineage, and 2) social security. For most Indian families practising gender inequality, any suggestion to reform or address the inequality is seen as a strike at the very root of its cultural, community or ethnic ethos. You start considering man and woman equal, and much of India’s centuries-and-millenia-old cultural pride needs to be rethought and reconfigured, and that’s no mean task. The problem is, gender inequality is at the very heart of the Indian cultural and value system. Yet, many of the issues that concern women, whether it is economic participation and opportunity, educational attainment or health and survival, are things that need to be addressed at the individual, household, family, and social levels. The government of the day can frame policies and laws, which are important. The people of India like to look to the government of the day to solve many of the issues they face (and debate endlessly whether the Congress, or the BJP or any other party will solve their problems). Had the protagonist known about other countries where women have a better deal, her song could very well have been: “May I be born again as a woman in my next life, but let me choose the country where I am born and live.” (see the Appendix below). It’s the cry of a battered and helpless woman imploring God not to make her a woman again in her next life, not a doll who couldn’t even cry. J.P.Datta’s remake of an earlier film – the 2006 Umrao Jaan had a powerful song: The systematic inequality and dis-empowerment of women is at the heart of many of the problems plaguing India. One thing is evident from all those episodes in 2012 (ranging from female foeticide, child sexual abuse, dowry system, love marriages and honor killings, domestic violence, alcohol abuse) and to the first episode in 2014 (on rape), as well as from other online/news sources and narratives, that women in India have a raw deal. The Indian actor Aamir Khan ran a successful television show Satyameva Jayate in 2012 that went into the depths of many of these issues. India as a country faces numerous challenges – massive corruption, inequality of various types, unemployment, lack of basic health and sanitation, education, among others. What does this International Women’s Day mean for women in India?